A Few Jokes

[Martin_D]

[Pittsdriverwes]

Oh my god that is funny!!!!

[Martin_D]

[Martin_D]

[Martin_D]

[802Mike]

Slippery when wet !

[Martin_D]

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/lE8ceviUeZ4

[Martin_D]

[Martin_D]

[802Mike]

Is it just me, or are your jokes losing something?

[Martin_D]

[Scot]

For those that have dealt with the state of Kentucky in business.

The State of Kentucky Department of Fish and Wildlife sends a letter to a home/landowner asking for permission to access a creek on his property to document the decline in a certain species of unheard of frogs.
The property owners' response in the second letter is EPIC.
Letter from Kentucky Dept. Of Fish & Wildlife:
Dear Landowner:
KDFWR Staff will be conducting surveys for foothill yellow-legged frogs & other amphibians over the next few months. As part of this research we would like to survey the creek on your property. I am writing this letter to request your permission to access your property.
Recent research indicates that foothill yellow-legged frogs have declined significantly in recent years and are no longer found at half their historic sites. Your cooperation will be greatly appreciated and will help contribute to the conservation of this important species.
Please fill out the attached postage-paid postcard and let us know if you are willing to let us cross your property or not.
If you have any concerns about this project please give us a call. We would love to talk with you about our research.
Sincerely
Steve Niemela
Conservation Strategy Implementation Biologist
***************************** ******************************
****************************** *****************************
RESPONSE FROM LANDOWNERS:
Dear Mr. Niemela:
Thank you for your inquiry regarding accessing our property to survey for the yellow-legged frog. We may be able to help you out with this matter.
We have divided our 2.26 acres into 75 equal survey units with a draw tag for each unit. Application fees are only $8.00 per unit after you purchase the "Frog Survey License" ($120.00 resident / $180.00 Non-Resident). You will also need to obtain a "Frog Habitat" parking permit ($10.00 per vehicle).
You will also need an "Invasive Species" stamp ($15.00 for the first vehicle and $5.00 for each add'l vehicle) You will also want to register at the Check Station to have your vehicle inspected for Non-native plant life prior to entering our property. There is also a Day Use fee, $5.00 per vehicle.
If you are successful in the Draw you will be notified two weeks in advance so you can make necessary plans and purchase your "Creek Habitat" stamp. ($18.00 Resident / $140.00 Non-Resident).
Survey units open between 8 am. And 3 PM. But you cannot commence survey until 9 am. And must cease all survey activity by 1 PM.
Survey Gear can only include a net with a 2" diameter made of 100% organic cotton netting with no longer than an 18 in handle, non-weighted and no deeper than 6' from net frame to bottom of net. Handles can only be made of BPA-free plastics or wooden handles.
After 1 PM. You can use a net with a 3" diameter if you purchase the "Frog Net Endorsement" ($75.00 Resident / $250 Non-Resident).
Any frogs captured that are released will need to be released with an approved release device back into the environment unharmed.
As of June 1, we are offering draw tags for our "Premium Survey" units and application is again only $8.00 per application.
However, all fees can be waived if you can verify "Native Indian Tribal rights and status".
You will also need to provide evidence of successful completion of "Frog Surveys and Your" comprehensive course on frog identification, safe handling practices, and self-defense strategies for frog attacks.
This course is offered on-line through an accredited program for a nominal fee of $750.00.
Please let us know if we can be of assistance to you. Otherwise, we decline your access to our property but appreciate your inquiry.
Sincerely,
Larry & Amanda Anderson.

[802Mike]

I've ridden through Eastern Kentucky... they just blow the tops of hills off, level them and built a WalMart.
I doubt they do any studies. (I know, this is in a joke thread)

Tried to build a by-pass highway here in Vermont. They did the surveys and environmental studies. It got
dragged on because environmentalist kept making lawsuits to stop it. Each time it got thrown out. Finally
when all were exhausted and it was going to be built, a judge ruled that the environmental impact study
was too old and they would have to start all over again. The state threw their arms up and surrendered.
No by-pass has been built and cars are waiting in traffic longer to get where they need to go.

Funny thing is that these environmental law firms are from Boston, MA.

Don't get me started about Prius drivers taking so long to get going at a green light that three cars don't
make the light and have to sit there idling for five more minutes waiting for the next light.

[BillGsa]

[BillGsa]

[BillGsa]

[BillGsa]

[Pete_Tallahassee]

[Martin_D]